oof

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See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
drew-dopamine
see-arcane

Dracula: Hm, that human mother is being super annoying about her dead kid at the gate. How do I fix that? Wolves? I’ll say wolves.

Dracula: What’s that? My good friend Jonathan Harker wants to leave ahead of schedule? Think I’ll do some wolves about that.

Dracula: Damn, seems that old Dutchman has blocked off one (1) single window with garlic blossoms and now this one (1) specific girl in all of England is barred from me. Maybe I should use my title and/or some invented pretense to cajole the girl’s mother into letting me in. Or maybe I could just move on to a different victim out of the nigh endless blood buffet I specifically moved here to enjoy, none of whom have a small legion of blood donors and vampire-proofing scholars on their side.

Dracula:

Dracula, about to slam dunk a wolf through the window: Or,

dracula daily thx op
fangirlingpuggle
radicaltrains

the funniest thing in the entire pirates of the caribbean series is definitely that one scene in At World’s End where they have parlay but davy jones is part of it, and rather than have him stand in the shallows or something they get a big bucket of water and have in stand on it on shore

who thought of that idea? who thought “put davy jones in a bucket of water” and had the guts to suggest it aloud? and then who went “hey that sounds like a great idea!”

at some point someone told davy jones their idea was for him to stand in a bucket of water and he agreed to it

radicaltrains

image

*stands majestically in a bucket*

amalgarn

ok but notice the trail of buckets behind him meaning he walked from the ocean through three other buckets of water before he got into the one hes standing in

prokopetz

It’s even funnier when you consider how he must have figured all this out in the first place.

Some folks are asking “well, if he can avoid the no-dry-land curse simply by standing in a bucket, doesn’t that ruin his whole motivation?”, but he’s not on dry land here.

The parley takes place on a sandbar - which, for the unfamiliar, is a temporary “island” of sand deposited by breaking waves, unconnected with the shore, that spends most of its time submerged, being exposed only at low tide.

What Jones is doing here is rules-lawyering his curse. Can you imagine the trial and error he must have gone through in order to determine that this would actually work?

“Okay, do islands count as dry land? How about parts of the shore below the high tide mark? Reefs? Shoals? What if I stand in a pool of water on a shoal? Does it have to be seawater, or will any water do? Does it have to be a natural tidepool, or can it be something artificial, like a bucket?”

What I am saying is that there must have been a process.

stumblngrumbl

Pretty sure that this implies that the reverse - a bucket of sand, floating on the water (big bucket with just a bit of sand), would qualify as dry land. That’s absurd, so I’m pretty sure that his lawyer pulled a fast one over the curse governor.

prokopetz

It may be absurd, but the text of the film bears it out. Davy Jones can sense the presence of his heart while it’s at sea, but not while it’s on land (indeed, that’s why he buried it on land in the first place: to break his connection with it) - yet placing the heart in a simple jar of dirt conceals it from Jones’ awareness just as surely as burial on land does, even if the jar is on a boat at the time. Suitably prepared vessels filled with dirt absolutely count as dry land for the purpose of Jones’ curse.

silver-tongues-blog

Then the reverse should also be true. If he buried it in a jar of water, no matter how far inland it is, he would be able to sense it. So by this logic, any container of seawater counts as not dry land, ergo, the bucket is a perfectly viable loophole.

prokopetz

Not necessarily. It’s traditionally a lot easier to accidentally get whammied by a curse than it is to weasel around it - I figure that’s why he’s using multiple layers of indirection here. He’s forbidden to set foot on dry land, but it’s technically not dry land (it’s a sandbar, a non-permanent landform exposed only at low tide) and he technically didn’t set foot on it (he’s standing in a bucket of water). It’s entirely possible that either one of those things alone wouldn’t make the grade.

necrotelecomnicon

okay but this all raises one further, very important question: if it’s specifically “dry land” he’s forbidden from, what about wetlands.

can Davy Jones fight you in salt marshes? can he throw down in a peat bog?Swamp Battle?

musicalhell

This is the quality content I come to Tumblr for.

memes-and-musicals

could he step on land if his shoes are wet?

there-was-a-girl

No matter how ridiculous PotC gets I will love it. Especially when it results in conversations like this

glumshoe

What if he crawls around on his hands and knees, with his feet raised slightly into the air? Can he walk on his hands? Can he ride around in a litter or a wheelchair?

princedorkface

can he be in a wheelbarrow?

bemusedlybespectacled

What if he flies over dry land? Like in a hot air balloon, or in the claws of a giant bird?

pantheraj

What if he’s carried by two swallows using a strand of creeper?

strikelikeahawk

European swallows or African swallows?

grednforgesgirl

this whole thread reads like a conversation between these two:

image

In fact im not entirely sure that it wasn’t their idea in the first place

thx op logical debates
frontline-titties-of-the-fifth
opposite-of-batman

18 years ago a man walked into a school in Dunblane, Scotland with four handguns and killed 16 students all under 6 years old, a teacher and then himself.

This led to a debate on gun control and in 1997 2 firearms amendment acts were passed making it illegal to own a handgun for personal use in the United Kingdom.  We have had no shooting on a similar scale to this since.

6 weeks later in Australia was the massacre in Port Arthur when 35 people were killed and 23 wounded, which led to the imposing strict gun control. There have been no shootings on a similar scale to this since, either.

If I hear one more person tell me that there’s nothing that can be done in the US when there are massacres after massacre I will scream because it is so clear and people are pretending to be blind.

gun control tw: violence thx op
drew-dopamine
apas-95

image

the sheer number of people replying positively to the idea of fucking supermarket security having free reign to execute you for shoplifting is insane i mean neurodivergent

curlyfriesaregay

I hate to sound like a broken record, but this is capitalism at work. The government people to be killed *at a supermarket* — one of the places someone can buy FOOD, which every single person on this planet needs to survive — is just one of the ways they’re killing off impoverished folks. This is what capitalism does. It kills poor people. It thrives on it. The government doesn’t care about you; all they care about is getting richer and more powerful.

ACAB. The government can suck my gay, sparkly, transgender ass.

thx op
drew-dopamine
elphabaforpresidentofgallifrey

image

I’ve never been so taken out by a response

terulakimban

I got to see mom do this once. It was… terrifying. I was moving into my first apartment, and my buddy had just moved into a place about half a mile away, and he was almost crying with rage because of some of the safety issues the apartment had with the wiring. There were a whole host of other problems, but that one was about safety and it should not have been a thing. Mom gathered us up, and drove to the leasing office. When we got there, she informed him (not asked. She’d walked his apartment, noted everything she disliked (she had much higher standards than he did) and she was PISSED) that he was to keep his mouth shut, make whatever expressions she cued him on, and pretend he understood whenever she and I switched languages and we’d fill him in afterwards. (I have been used as a complainant prop before. I know what my job is when she’s on this warpath; thankfully she does not use her powers for evil.)

It took her all of twenty minutes to have a promise in writing from the son of the owner for everything to be fixed by a specific date and also to install a ceiling fan at no cost to my friend. In that meeting, she managed to leverage his church, his family, his reputation, the concept of a gentleman, the biblical concept of how to treat the poor, how people would treat his children, once they were grown, and the concept of a self-made man (which my friend is trying very hard to be), Christian morality, what it means to be a community institution, real estate law, and honestly, I forget what else. She’d never met him before. She does not live in our city -or state, for that matter. We’re not Christian. She did a cold-read of him based on his office, face, clothing, and posture (he didn’t give us his last name -the ‘related to the owner’ was a guess that turned out to be lucky), and hit every point of pride or insecurity she could find. When some things still hadn’t been taken care of a week later, she *called his father* and implied that he’d failed as a man and a parent since his son hadn’t yet honored his word. My friend had the fan that day, and the remaining safety issues were taken care of on top of it. No yelling, no threats, it was just a calm, ‘friendly’ conversation. My friend does not do subtext; he knew the social chess game was going on, but not how it worked. 

tl;dr: I’ve seen my mother do this and holy shit this really should be a thing.

sunshine-tattoo

my momma is a retired union lawyer. you should see her tear into landlords and rich people. it’s like watching a lion devour a zebra.

lily-orchard

Comrade Karen

headspace-hotel

I see now…“Karen” is a power that can be used for evil or good…

fightingbadger

Listen you are all gonna lose your shit once you find out where there’s a company where that is literally their whole business model. They are called “Karens for Hire” and their whole thing is helping out exploited people get justice - essentially complaining to the right people and making themselves heard.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/dc-md-va/2022/12/26/karens-for-hire-customer-service-complaints/

thx op
cryptotheism
cryptotheism

Your reaction to chatGPT instantly lets me know how easy it would be to trick you into thinking that you are haunted

cryptotheism

"omg it's literally alive!" Two beers, 45 minutes, deck of tarot cards, and I'm charging you 350$ for an exorcism.

cryptotheism

"I read an article that it's showing simple self-awareness" two days, mild preparation, hot and cold reading, I can get 60$ for joints laced with sacred sage

cryptotheism

"I just spoke to an AI and I'm... rattled to say the least, come with me on this dark journey" twenty minutes. I've got to science it up for you, but I can get you to come back every week to "disentangle the psychological imprint" for 125$

thx op